ybe the 10's upon 10's upon 10's of thousands would be better going towards local charity ?
Budhmor
Portree Hospital
RSPCA
"YOU NEED HELP"
ONE MAN RELIABLE SERVICE
"My mother knows everything"
Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn't chicken. 
SAME DRIVER 100's of loads 1000'S of Tonnes
Roadside problems
Report potholes, damage to road markings
Why did the chicken cross the road twice?
He was a double-crosser.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in the dirt, crosses the road again, and then rolls in the dirt again?
A dirty double-crossing chicken !
Which chicken is at the top of the pecking order?
Attila the Hen. 
"DONALD HAS MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO"
Why do chickens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
Did you hear about the chicken who could only lay eggs in the winter?
She was no spring chicken.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a guitar?
A chicken that makes music when you pluck it.
Smile for the camera
"
Why did the chicken cross the road?
I don't know.
To get to the idiot's house. 
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
The chicken. 
What's a hen's favorite type of movie?
A chick flick. 
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
A duck is standing next to a busy road, cars zooming past while he waits for a break in traffic.
A chicken walks up to him and says, "Don't do it, man. You'll never hear the end of it." 
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a bell?
An alarm cluck. ?
Did you hear about the chicken farmer who died under mysterious circumstances?
The police suspect fowl play. ?
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road ?
Poultry in motion. ?
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer ?
A brick layer.
A man was driving along a freeway when he noticed a chicken running alongside his car.
He was amazed to see the chicken keeping up with him, as he was doing 50 mph.
He accelerated to 60, and the chicken stayed right next to him.
He sped up to 75 mph, and the chicken passed him.
The man then noticed that the chicken had three legs. So, he followed the chicken down a road and ended up at a farm.
He got out of his car and saw that all the chickens had three legs. He asked the farmer, "What's up with these chickens?"
The farmer said, "Well, everybody likes chicken legs, so I bred a three-legged bird. I'm going to be a millionaire."
The man asked him how they tasted.
The farmer replied, "Don't know, haven't caught one yet."
Why is it easy for chicks to talk?
Because talk is cheep. 
What happens when a hen eats gunpowder?
She lays hand gren-eggs.
What do you call the outside of a hand gren-egg?
The bombshell.
I have no idea how to raise chickens.
I think I'll just wing it. 
Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?
She wanted to lay it on the line ?
What do you call the door to a chicken barn?
The hen-trance.
What goes Peck, Peck, Peck, Boom?
A chicken in a mine field.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.
What did the baby chicken say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange?
Dad, look what marma-laid!
What do you get when you cross a ghost with a chicken?
A poultry-geist.
A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, you've got to help me. My wife thinks she's a chicken!"
The doctor asks, "How long has she had this condition?"
"Two years," says the man.
"Then why did it take you so long to come and see me?" asked the doctor.
The man shrugs his shoulders and replies, "We needed the eggs."
Why did the rubber chicken cross the road?
She wanted to stretch her legs.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
He wanted to get to the other slide.
I ate an omelette for breakfast but I'm still feeling peckish.
How do you know if it's too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-cooked eggs.
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
What does a chicken need to lay an egg every day?
Hen-durance.
What do you get when you cross a dog with a chicken?
A hen that lays pooched eggs.
What do you call a chicken in a shellsuit?
An egg.
Why can't a rooster ever get rich?
Because he works for chicken feed.
Which day of the week do chickens hate most?
Fry-day.
What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning?
An alarm cluck.
What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon?
They go on peck-nics.
A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I think I'm a chicken."
The doctor asks, "How long has this been going on?"
The man replies, "Ever since I was an egg."
What do chickens call school tests?
Eggs-aminations.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cow?
Roost beef.
What kind of chicken grows on a tree?
Poultry.
What happened to the baby chicken that misbehaved at school?
It was egg-spelled.
What do you call a crazy chicken?
A cuckoo cluck.
What did the sick chicken say?
"I have the people-pox."
What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
Coop-cakes.
An idiot decided to start a chicken farm so he bought a hundred chickens to begin with.
A month later he returned to the dealer for another hundred chickens because all of the first lot had died.
A month later he was back at the dealer for another hundred chickens because all the second lot had also died.
"But I think I know where I'm going wrong," said the idiot, "I think I'm planting them too deep."
Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
Because if had four doors it would be a chicken sedan. 
Which dance will a chicken not do?
The foxtrot. 
What do you call a bird that's afraid to fly?
Chicken.
What happened to the chicken whose feathers were all pointing the wrong way?
She was tickled to death.
What did one chicken say to the other when they walked through poison ivy?
You scratch my beak and I'll scratch yours.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a racehorse?
A hen that lays odds.
What do you call a bunch of chickens playing hide and seek?
What do you call an excited chicken?
Hen-thusiastic !
What do you get if you feed gunpowder to a chicken?
An egg-splosion.
Roadside problems
